Wait, how did I get here?

You may be asking yourself, why am I reading this or how did I end up on this page.  To be honest, I’m asking a similar question because I have no idea how I got to the point of creating this page!  Who am I to put my feelings out there for the entire world to see?  I have carried the introvert flag for 42 years and somehow I find myself here, now, with you on this blank canvas.  

Well, I’ve learned to stop fighting, but questioning is still a work in progress!  Ha.  If you get nothing else from this, please know, you are here for a purpose.  There are no mistakes.  You waking up today wasn’t an accident and I believe you reading this isn’t by accident either.  I can say that confidently because I am writing this not by accident.  The fact that both of us woke up today means we are here for a reason.  I hope you sense that, no matter where you are in life.  Even if just 0.01% of you believes this is true.  Believe me, I have been searching for my purpose in life for 42 years and somehow find myself going down roads I’ve never thought possible before.

You probably don’t know me so let me introduce myself.  My name is Aaron Pugh and I’m a 42 year old, remarried, father of 4 beautiful daughters.  I’ve been remarried for 7 years to my beautiful wife who is also named Erin.  If you do know me, you’re dying for me to share the next part which is that we also have the same birthdate (November 4th), but different years.  As I’ve mentioned already, I was born 100% introverted, socially awkward, and am the poster child for ADHD.  

So why have I created this page if I have all these things going against me?  Well, that’s an excellent question, and is one that I am exploring for myself also.  I have been on a path to self discovery for the last 3 years.  Some call it a midlife crisis, but I like to call it a midlife transformation.  However, I’m coming to terms with “crisis” because it gives more urgency to the need to change my path.  I hit a wall around age 39 and started asking, “is this really all there is to life?”  Now, I’ve always been searching for my purpose in life, but it really came to a head then.  

Maybe you share in this quest to find your calling and that explains how you’ve stumbled into my world for this brief moment in time.  I don’t know where you’re at in life, but I’ll explain how I got here and how my life is changing and my hope is that it encourages you to continue searching for your purpose as well.  I am not an expert in anything.  I am not a doctor, psychologist, or counselor.  As a matter of fact, I got a D in Psychology and hated every minute of that class!  I’m just a guy, one guy, who’s made a lot of mistakes over 42 years!  A guy who finally gave up trying to do things my way and following my self-centered motives.  A guy who came to the end of himself and realized there was nothing else to give.  There was no other option, but to ask for help.  

In that moment, my life changed forever.  It hasn’t been easy. There have been bumps and bruises along the way.  However, I am here because I stopped fighting and started following.  Now before I lose you, I want to preface this with, I’ve been where you are, and what I’m about to say may annoy you.  When I finally said “God, I cannot do this anymore, you’ve got to take over!,” things forever changed.  One of these thoughts may have just shot through your brain.  “Well this is garbage!” [closes the page] or maybe “Ok, I’ll read a little more to see if this is legit.” [continues to read].  

I wish either person the best on their journey.  If you choose to continue reading, I want to say thank you.  I hope you find this helpful and hopeful as you navigate your own life.  Maybe there’s something I’ve done that will encourage you to follow your calling or to reach the next phase in your spiritual growth.  Please know, I’m not an expert and am only giving my perspective or translation of what I learn along the way.  I am a broken person who has made many mistakes.  I am being refined day by day.  I don’t know where this journey will lead to, but I’m looking forward to finding out!

Until next time, I wish you all the best.  God bless.