Yeah, I’ll Have the Humble Pie, Please

If there's one area of my life that has come under major construction, it would be in humility. The saying, "The older I get, the less I know," hits home. Isn't it funny that around the time of adolescence, you somehow inherit more knowledge than every adult you meet, especially your parents? I had such an abundance of knowledge that I pretty much had it all figured out. I was 100% independent—or, well, maybe 99.9%. Okay, fine, my parents still fed me, put a roof over my head, bought my clothes, took me to my appointments, picked me up from school... okay, maybe I was mostly dependent! I did have a moped and a paper route; doesn't that count for something? Ha.

You get the point. Moving on.

Let's fast forward to within a year or two ago and do some reflection. I believe the argument ended with me saying something like, "I just wish you were more self-aware... like me." No surprise, my wife threw down a gauntlet of choice words as she stormed up the stairs. With the abundance of knowledge I possessed, I had also gained a superior amount of self-awareness. I lived by the mantra of “it’s hard to soar with the eagles when you’re working with a bunch of turkeys.” My wife liked to repeat this whenever she felt me judging her, although somehow it morphed into pigeons! Somehow, I had gone all my life with the ability to point out everyone else’s flaws. I rarely saw my own. What’s odd is how I always felt inferior to other people but liked to drag others down with me. Comparing myself to others hurt my relationships and opened up the door for bitterness. I was a victim who refused to call myself a victim.

I blamed my family, the economy, school, the government, and a whole slew of other outside circumstances. The only thing I left out was myself. I couldn’t see how I was letting my outside circumstances impact my life. My identity, joy, peace, happiness were all based on my circumstances. If somehow I was happy with where I was in time, all I had to do was hop online, see what someone else had, and then “bam!” I was right back in misery. I heard it said like this before, “I never knew I was poor until I met a rich person.” How true that statement is. It can be applied to so many things. It’s a perfect example of what our culture defines as success. The American Dream is this unattainable euphoria that we spend our entire lives trying to achieve. However, when the bar keeps getting moved up another notch, it’s an impossible goal to ever accomplish. Comparing your life or circumstances, seeking the world’s approval, is a futile venture. True joy and peace come from within. You must have an anchor that is not defined by the world’s standards. Once I truly gave my life to Jesus is when I got a taste of true joy and peace. I may have thought at some point in the past that I had joy and peace, but nothing, absolutely nothing, compares to what I felt.

True joy and peace feel like crawling back into bed after you just found out that school is closed because of snow. It’s like a blanket of security was just wrapped around you. It’s a weightless feeling where you’re floating, and there’s no pain, no anxiety, no anger, just a sense of being alive.

What I have learned since is that our world is constantly battling to get us back. It attacks us through comparison, materialism, pride, gossip, judgment, and so many other weapons. As my character goes through the gauntlet of trials, I have realized just how much I judge others. I’ve come to realize that my humility was awful. The self-awareness I had was actually pride. My pride blinded me to the fact that I was doing the same exact thing I liked to point out in others. Someone once said, “We judge others based on their actions but ourselves on intentions.” I continue to discover so many areas of life where I justified my actions based on my intentions but failed to see the hypocrisy. I have also noticed that anytime I judge someone, I then seem to face those same challenges. It’s almost like God is saying, “Oh, you think you’re better than them; let’s test your theory.” I know God’s not saying that, but I do believe He allows those circumstances to humble me. A perfect example happened recently as I was driving my 6-year-old daughter to school, after dropping my 16-year-old daughter off. As I was rushing to get her there on time, I was ranting about how this was the last time we were going to be late. I was explaining to her how everyone was going to be ready on time going forward or they’re getting left at home. I went on to describe how I was always ready on time and how they needed to get on board with the program. She then served up some homemade humble pie when she said, “Yeah, but dad, didn’t you have to go back inside to try and find your wallet?” As my heart sank deep into my chest, I realized how my daughter was right, agreed, and apologized for complaining about it. What’s truly incredible is how God can use so many examples to humble you. One last example I’ll share, that took me several times to recognize was, almost every time I boasted about getting up at 3 in the morning, the following morning I’d oversleep. After a few times, I started noticing the pattern, and I started prefacing it with “Well, I usually get up at 3, but now I’ll probably oversleep since I told you that!” Once I learned the lesson, I stopped oversleeping.

I find that reflection is a huge part of learning from these experiences. I miss a lot of learning experiences because of how fast-paced this world is. I’d encourage you to think about flaws you may find in other people. Then take an honest look at your life and see if you could find where you may be doing them as well. It may be a wakeup call to get you over a stumbling block in your own life.

Until next time, I wish you all the best. God bless.